Thursday, 15 October 2009

Inventing The Wheel...

"It's like learning to ride a bike, you never forget" ~Some Idiot
But what if you never learned? What if you lived too near a main road, with an over-protective mother and no father or older brother to fix you up with stabilizers?

What if repeated failures, a large amount of puppy fat and a chronic case of shyness ruined your resolve to learn?

Well, I am that if.

Let me introduce myself, my name is Laurence Mozafari, I am like most 20-year-old men. I drink, I drive (not together) and I'm enrolled at University. However I am lacking one basic skill, that it seems the whole world and his wife and their child posses.

I can't ride a bicycle.

Now there are about 3 responses I get from divulging this skeleton from my closet.

1) Uncontrollable laughter
2) Disbelief. Followed by an odd look and questions.

I would easily take the first two responses over the latter. Why? Because the idea of people knowing about my problem is mortifying. Having to relive the frustrated friend/parent/teacher running alongside, attempting to hold me up and the inevitable fails just rubs salt in the wounds.

Maybe this derives from my detest for being in situations where everyone else knows what they're doing and I do not. Maybe it's because I see it as an unnecessary skill. Maybe I'm just lazy.

N.B I realise the hypocrisy of being embarrassed about not being able to ride a bike and then creating a blog about it.

As you may have realised, I have finally decided to learn, to bite the bullet and inevitably bite the dirt. However in a bid to help other learners like myself, children, adults and looking for a laugh on their lunch-break, I'll update my progress on this Blog. The ultimate goal is to learn, enter a biking event and raise money for charity.

All I can say is, once I learn, I better not bloody forget!


hannahsimson84 said...

reading that was hillarious, especially the bit about mum putting you in clothes too big for you.

Remember we have got a crash helmet at home waiting for you!

MUMMY said...

Look at it this way it is a bit like swimming you never forget once you learn, shall I get you some shin pads for Xmas?

MUMMY said...

I hope you have a bell to ring to let people know you are coming.......!