Monday, 7 December 2009

I Hate Biking

It's been a while since I last went out. So the age old saying was truly being tested. Would I actually forget how to ride a bike?

Well seeing as I couldn't actually ride properly in the first place, it would be magic if I remembered now.

I can still push off without the help of the waddle walk and I can pedal sitting down reasonably well. However it seems my sudden rush of success in the beginning has soured the stage I'm at now. Actually getting good.

I can't turn for toffee, I either bank too sharply and fall off or take the corner wider than Rik Waller's waistband. In one epic scrape I speared my thigh with the handle bars, leaving me with a dead leg and in need of a good sit down.

The problem became really apparent as Coach Woodward made me do a half lap around the Ashley car park eveytime I left a makeshift square we had made. My awful turns became even more apparent to me as Coach Ali pointed out every time I left the circle with great pleasure!

This is how wide my turns are - in obese Pop-Idol failing form.

The problems don't end there. At this moment in time, here is what I'm trying to conquer:

  1. I CAN'T TURN! I know I already mentioned this but it is kind of important, unlesss everywhere I want to ride to happens to be directly in front of me.

  2. MY HANDS HURT! Whether it is through sheer mortal fear, or my powerful kung-fu grip, I keep clutching the handle bars too tight. So eventually my arms ache and my thumbs throb like I've been thumb wrestling with Hulk Hogan.

  3. I CAN'T STAND UP AND PEDAL! I critically injured my knee about 4 years ago. I rotationally dispaced it whilst playing with a bouncy ball in my 6th form common room. Pathetic, I know.

    Since that day I have done it 4 more times - mainly whilst dancing. Again Pathetic. However this has left me without the strength and stablity to stand up and pedal fast.

    So I have objectives to combat my failings. When I'm trying to turn I need to lift the opposite pedal, so it doesn't scrape on the floor, throw me off and scrape my face on the floor. I also need to perfect leaning into my turns more instead of over steering with the handle bars. 
    Similar to changing lanes on the motorway it needs to be a slow and gradual turn, however leaning in is a technique I am struggling with. 
    Whilst I am holding the handle bars, my fingers hover over my breaks just fine- according to Coach Woodward. However I grip the handles too hard and feel like I've got arm pump and have to take a break. So to combat this...I just won't do it. 
    Hopefully as I get better, I'll be less inclined to soil myself and hold on for dear life. Fingers crossed. 
    Finally to combat my pedalling problem, I'm going to tape up my knee, put on my knee support and just go for it. Apparently after you get the standing and pedaling part sorted everything clicks, according to Coach Woodward. 
    If I am ever hoping to get into mountaing biking, I'm going to have to man up and do it!

            Me, rocking the knee pad at Wireless 2009

Overall I still have a way to go. I intend to go into overdrive soon to make some fast progress on my biking and hopefully head out on to the open road! Look out soon for some knee support action, teaching how to turn and washing my bike.

Finally massive congratulations to Coach Woodward a.k.a George Woodward over at mymtbblog as he has got a job at International Bike Magazine! Who knew blogging would actually pay off!


George said...

Cheers Laurence. Thanks man. Seeing as you're a better writer than me they'll probably hook you up to when you can corner and ride standing up!

Anonymous said...

I bet Rick Waller can ride a bike!

Mark Hines said...

haha i like how you reference your turns to an overweight celebrity!

MUMMY said...

Have you lost any weight yourself Laurence during the duration of this learing curve?

James Perkins said...

Great post, really entertaining!!

Atif.Ali said...

No, he's actually gained learning curves if you know what I mean!